There was another party

This is my cousin Sandy. Sandy's what I call "a real cousin." I guess the right word is first cousin, but I grew up with most of my "cousins" actually being second cousins. They were the kids of my cousins. Many of my actual cousins were my dad's age. He was the last born, and he had a sister, Margaret, who was about twenty and had already had her first child, Joanie when he was born. So my cousin Joanie was my dad's age.

To me, Sandy seemed much older than me when I was younger, but I realize now she wasn't that much older. When I was ten and most idolizing her, she must have been about 25. My dad said that he babysat Sandy when she was a kid, Sandy babysat me, and then I babysat Sandy's kids. I bet she wasn't even thirty years old when I babysat her kids. I thought she was glamorous.

It's such a kick to see her now. Of all my cousins, I think she's the one I'm most like in that genetic way. She has the same sense of humor that I have. I enjoy talking to her because it feels natural. If she were to suddenly lean over and hit me because she just thought of something, I'd think, "Ah, finally home with normal people." I've learned the hard way that not all people hit each other when they have something interesting to say. I bet Sandy does.

Here's Aunt Margaret and Aunt Dot. Aunt Margaret, dad's sister, is about 94. Aunt Dot is, I think, in her late 80's. Aunt Dot is Sandy's mom.

This is Tracy. Tracy's dad is my real cousin and also Dad's age. They were good friends growing up and spent a lot of time together when I was a kid. Dad would always tell us that he would hold Uncle Billy down and say, "Call me Uncle." I loved going to Uncle Billy's house when I was a kid. I called him Uncle Billy until I got old enough to figure out he wasn't my uncle. Then, out of teenage pride, I'd only call him Billy. Now I'd call him Uncle Billy again, because I remember him being good to me for years when he drove me to work every summer.

Tracy's probably about five years younger than me. When the parties were big enough, Tracy didn't make the cut off and I'd play with cousins closer to my age, but at smaller parties, we'd play. She just got married and has a beautiful son, about 10 years old, who ducked every time I pointed the camera at him.

He cracked me up. When I asked him were he went to school, he said, "ER."

"Get out! I went to ER!"

You should have seen the look on his face. It was complete boredom. I realized later that this poor kid was suffering the same fate I'd suffered. The same fate most of us suffered. To him, his town was nothing special. Everyone he knew lived there. Big deal that I had once. He's hoping to get out himself one day!

I felt old. I didn't bother to tell him how much I enjoyed talking to someone who called our town "ER." It took years for me to beat that out of myself. When you're in Alaska or the South and you say you are from ER, they look at you funny. I learned to say East Rochester, but a little part of me always felt like it was false. I'm really from ER.

Aunt Dot is Tracy's grandmother. I always had grandmother envy. All my "cousins" who were my age had one, but I didn't.

This is Sandy's grandson. Isn't he handsome? He comes from a long line of dark-haired handsome men. He is the son of either Mikey or Vinnie. Had his dad been there, I would have said, "Oh look, it's Mikey or Vinnie." I couldn't tell them apart then, and I can't now.

I only have brothers, no sisters. At a family party, the only thing I'd bother saying to a boy cousin was, "Why don't you go play somewhere else." And I'd say it like that, with the periods. Not with a question mark. It wasn't that I didn't like the boys. I just didn't see the point in talking to them when there were girls around.

Alice was my favorite. She is one year older than me. It was pure joy when she'd show up. We didn't live that far from each other, so when we got old enough to walk over to each other's houses, that was the best. She's a real cousin. I think her dad, Uncle Dick, is the next oldest after my dad.

I always envied the simplicity that some families have by keeping the brothers and sisters in one generation, and the cousins in another. We just don't seem to be very good at that.


This is Caitlin holding her brother Seth. Caitlin graduated from college, and before the year was out, her dad had another baby. Caitlin and Seth are the children of my brother, Mark.


I thought this was a sweet picture. Seth got his diaper changed, and they just hung out together for a few minutes. That's Mark's wife, Nicole, with them. Briana, Nicole's daughter, wasn't there, so one person is missing from their family here, but it's still a sweet picture. When you are a kid, you have no idea that at one time, people just gathered around you and glowed in joy at your existence.

My dad is married to Kay, who has a daughter Karee.


This is Lucy, Karee's daughter. She's very cute.