1981 and 2008

This picture was taken in 1981 right after Mark's graduation ceremony. Of the many pictures in my albums, this one is burned in my memory. We'd been dating two years by this time. Notice the white tuxedo jacket and black pants. He has already taken off his bow tie and received his carnation.

A friend once said of her enormous engagement ring, "I like what it says about my partner." That stuck with me for a long time. I have a small engagement ring, and it's a ring Mark's mother gave him to give to me, because when we got engaged, we didn't have real jobs yet. I have always loved my ring. Mark once asked me if I'd like a bigger diamond ring, and I said no, that this was my engagement ring and it couldn't be replaced. I finally figured out why. I like what it says about my partner. I married a guy who had nothing and wanted to share his life with me. This was the boy I fell in love with. This was the boy I married.

Twenty-seven years later, here's Andy standing in the exact same spot, graduating from the exact same school. We live in Mark's Aunt Margaret's house, and I knew exactly what I was doing when I said, "Andy, stand right here." He didn't have his carnation yet, but he's on his way, not coming back.

The old tree is gone, and so are all the old people who attended Mark's graduation. I still remember his father getting all choked up during the ceremony. It is one of the few times I've ever seen a strong man cry, and I've never forgotten it. He died less than two years later.

Andy doesn't know it, but he's a lot like his grandfather. I think if he'd been alive to know Andy, they would have hung out a lot. Their conversations would have been peppered with, "I know just what you mean."

And here's all my guys, standing in that spot.

Here's Andy receiving his diploma. The ceremony was lovely. Oh, and we just found out, he's a National AP Scholar. He worked hard for that.

Life is good.